I have a friend who is almost eighty-three years old. He refers to himself as an octogenarian. My friend has lived a long life of giving — both of his time and of his money. He gives to charitable organizations regularly. He is an active member of his local Kiwanis Club and continues even today to participate in their community and charitable activities. He has supported homeless shelters, college scholarship programs, and animal shelters. He himself has adopted dozens of dogs and cats, and he has provided them all safety, food and health. He mentors kids and helps them with school work, he buys blankets for the homeless, and he donates food for food pantries. He also gives to his church.
My friend has been a church-goer since he was a little boy, and he started tithing as a young adult. If I conservatively calculate how much he has given to his church over time, the sum is well over one-hundred thousand dollars. Even as a conservative estimate, this is a significant sum of money.
In a recent conversation, my friend told me he is becoming bitter, and I asked why. He explained that he had forgotten a monthly tithe. It must have been the month when he had gone to his sixtieth college reunion, he told me, and it slipped his mind. Unfortunately, the church sent him not one, but two dunning reminders about the oversight. I was sad to hear my friend is not attending church as regularly since receiving these notices. Church is a sanctuary for him.
It is understandable that the church relies on the tithes of its community. Charitable and not-for-profit organizations rely on the contributions and pledges of their supporters. Sometimes people need to be reminded about these commitments, it’s true. I don’t think my friend expects a pat on the back for all he does, but perhaps a gentler reminder along with a note of gratitude would have been a better way to communicate about the oversight. He certainly would have felt more appreciated.
My guess is that organizations are more successful with fundraising efforts when they ask for help in the spirit of appreciation and gratitude. The holiday season is a time of giving. We typically receive many fund-raising appeals for great causes during this time. We are reminded about the importance and benefits of giving. I wholeheartedly believe, as I said in my last post, that the more we give, the better we get. Let’s remember also to appreciate the giving and to thank the giver. A little pat on the back never hurts.